Suicide

Question:

A very close friend has committed suicide. It is difficult to find the words to describe how this feels. Sort of like being punched in the stomach. Call me crazy, but I just know he is still here, sort of in a limbo, not grasping what he just did. I “feel” him and wonder if he will be hanging around work for a while, since that is where he spent SO much time and was well-loved. Everyone says he was fine at work the day before. He was one of the most popular nurses in our unit. I have known him for almost 12 years. He had such a gift for making people feel better. He was so empathic and compassionate – and yet was still so male. I don’t know a single person who did not love him.  Why did he do this? It makes no sense! He was not a loner, did not fit the classic signs for someone at risk for suicide.  He had a great support system and was a very gifted communicator with a remarkable sense of humor. Anyway, I just can’t make sense of it. And I feel like he is saying to himself, Oh shit – what did I just do?  His energy is still very strong. He had a big fight with his wife on Friday, abruptly went into the barn and hung himself. No warning.  He left behind 2 young and beautiful children -whom he adored.
I wondered if you might be able to psychically get any hits about this. Would you even want to? I know it will take time, lots of time for people to heal and for him to let go and move on as well.

Oh dear lady, 

I totally understand the devastation of an experience like that and how long it takes to recover from the shock, loss and disbelief. You said, “‘He had such a gift for making people feel better. He was so empathic and compassionate.”  I think that is part of it. People who are deeply connected and open have a harder time of it here. Also, I wonder about his relationship with his wife. I bet his kids kept him going but he felt trapped in his marriage. We never know what people are struggling with behind smiles and good cheer.

If you feel him around you, I’m sure he’s there.  Knowing him so well makes all this land extra heavy on your heart. No way to get around it, but you do him no service to own too much of this pain. 

If you want to help his spirit you can do so by willing yourself to rise above the trauma of the event. Find a quiet place inside yourself and begin to tenderly hold the parts of him that you loved, see him with respect in his best self and visualize his connection to the light - always see him standing in the light, every time you think of him, put him there and smile. Too much earth pain is not good for you or for him. It’s like a bomb went off and everything went dark. By holding visions of his finest self, which you obviously knew well, you are placing a rose in the heart of devastation. He needs to be consistently placed in spiritual light, to be well thought of and sent loving energy, smiles, and happy memories. This will help more than you can imagine.